After losing his job, his former employer sent him a cobra. After narrowly avoiding springing coils and venomous fangs, he trapped it in his bathroom. Then he called someone to complain.
After an awkward and confusing conversation with a third-party benefits provider, they eventually connected him with the HR department. The woman who answered seemed remarkably calm and unsurprised by the arrival of a live snake.
“When I signed up to COBRA, I thought it was, you know, a continuation of my insurance.”
“Normally, it is,” she said. “But our organization places a great priority on tying up loose ends.”

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