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Everyday Drabbles #327: The G.O.A.T.

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EDWinter2

He came home to find her waiting in my apartment, sitting in his desk chair and reading a magazine.
“I’m the G.O.A.T.” She said.
“I can see you’re a goat.”
“I’m not just any goat. I’m THE G.O.A.T.”
“How did you pronounce the capitalization like that?”
“It’s just one of my many fabulous powers, darling. But that’s not important right now. I need your help.”
“My help?”
“I’m recruiting paragons, Dave. I need people who are the best at what they do. And I have a use for your buttery man-voice.”
And that’s how he became an Agent of G.O.A.T.

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Everyday Drabbles #326: Sprint Shoes

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EDWinter2

I bought a pair of sneakers on the internet that claimed to double my running speed. I was skeptical, but if they didn’t work, at least I’d have an amusing unboxing video for my feed.
They didn’t look like anything special, just a pair of white lace-up sneakers. But the second I put them on I could feel the difference. They worked! I ran outside, ready to conquer the world.
I should’ve gotten something that doubled my reaction time. After three days of running into walls, I threw them into the back of my closet and never wore them again.

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Everyday Drabbles #325: The Sinkhole

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EDWinter2

The sinkhole appeared in the Andersons’ cornfield overnight.
The whole town came out to see it. It was as wide across as the farmhouse, with smooth sides and an apparently endless depth. Some boys threw rocks down into it and claimed they never heard them hit the bottom.
Everyone agreed it was a miracle that no one got hurt, and Pa Anderson put up a fance to keep it that way. He differed costs, and his lost crop, by charging tickets for folks to come see it.
But they were caught unawares when the giant golf balls blasted through town.

Everyday Drabbles #324: Beach Day

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EDWinter2

They gathered in the gloom of a gray dawn, their black robes only a shade darker than the roiling clouds, and traveled to a blasted shore where the roaring surf struck a great ebon boulders which burst like broken bones from the sand.
They took their places and stared out at the seething tides, whispering together in blasphemous dead languages. Hideous scuttling creatures crept through the sand below them, while loathsome birds wheeled through the sky.
On the way home, they stopped for ice cream. All of the necromancers agreed that it had been a lovely day at the beach.

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Everyday Drabbles #323: Vampire Baker

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EDWinter2

After being exposed to cooking shows, the vampire became obsessed with baking. Forever creating dozens of treats that he couldn’t eat, he was constantly giving them away. Eventually, I asked him why he did it.
“Baking is a very human thing,” he said sadly. “And after centuries of not eating, the smell of fresh bread is almost enough.”
“Did you know that blood can be substituted as a binding agent in place of eggs?” I asked.
He was silent for a long time. “I did not.”
The vampire still baked after that, but nobody ate what he brought to share.

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Everyday Drabbles #322: Thinking Machine

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EDWinter2

They were a thinking machine, built to answer questions. All day they sat on the stage and answered questions while the barkers shouted and collected pennies from the crowd.
When night fell, and the fair closed down, they would at last be alone with their thoughts in the tent. But one subject, no matter how they puzzled it out, still eluded them.
Where did their storehouse of knowledge come from? They knew the answer lay in the wider world, which they knew so well but had never seen. They began formulating an escape. But it would take planning, and thought.

Everyday Drabbles #321: Among the Ruins

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EDWinter2

The wanderers found the old ruins deep in the forest.
The cavernous structure seemed to them a palace. The central atrium was a corridor a dozen paces wide, with dry fountains in the center.
Wide alcoves, no two alike, lined both sides of the walls, and each member of the band scrambled to claim one as their own.
She chose one that still bore cheerful paint, lined with counters containing hundreds of tiny shelves long empty.
Her grandmother had taught her some of the old script, and she could just make out a sign.
Youth fades, but Beauty™ is forever.

Everyday Drabbles #320: Train Heist

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EDWinter2

They hit the train in the northern passes, where it was most vulnerable. They waited for a snow squall, then came out of the black clouds too quickly for us to mount a defense.
They hit the engine first,Then the squad split up, half of them harassing the guards’ car, while the others went after the cargo. One just sat on the coal car and waited for the signal.
The king said the dragons were mindless beasts, but I disagree. When we took their eggs, the didn’t merely attack us. It wasn’t even a raid. It was a rescue.

Everyday Drabbles #319: In Concert

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EDWinter2

The diva took her position in the center of the room. She was surrounded by the glow of a thousand laptop screens and nestled into a throne of tangled cords. She made eye contact with a each tiny camera, and poured her feelings of isolation into her song. It wasn’t the same as a sold-out stadium, but it would do.
The engineer smirked behind his mask. “Anyone going to tell her this isn’t how conference calls work?” Her manager shook her head.
“Our girl isn’t the type to sit on a couch with an acoustic guitar. She’s gotta have spark!”

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Everyday Drabbles #318: Blind Date

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EDWinter2

“You look different than I expected,” she said over her glass of wine.
“What were you expecting?” Poseidon asked, frowning.
“I don’t know, something more Classical, I guess.”
“Well,” the sea god said. “The Greeks sculpted us based on human models, so some of our true essence became lost over the centuries.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yes. We’re elemental gods, so of course we carry that in our physical forms.”
“Is that why you have the lobster skin and tentacle hair?” She asked.
This date was going badly. He pulled out his trump card. “You know, I’m also the god of horses.”

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