Yesterday morning, this wizard came up and carved a rune on my front door, square in the center. I thought we were just having a pleasant conversation and BAM! My door is advertising or something now. Of course, I have no idea what it says. I’ve tried everything to get rid of it. I tried cleaning it, painting over it, I even pulled the door down and hung a new one. The stupid thing just reappeared. I was at my wits end. That is, until a party of dwarves showed up this morning, offering ‘discount rune removal services.’ Goddam wizards.