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The Freelance Hunters, Season One: The Unknown Package, Part 4 of 5

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The two Proudfoots took a table in a corner of the store’s backroom. They watched a small army of clerks unload cart after cart that arrived and departed like clockwork.
“We’re in the last of our Parade Night rush,” Big Jim explained.
“I’m chuffed to see you still doing well,” Bingo said. He sipped tea from a chipped brown mug. It was as sweet and strong as he remembered.
Big Jim took out a pipe and lit it with a match. He offered his bag to Bingo, who declined. It was one of many habits he’d never picked up. “It seems like every merchant and farmer on the island wants to get one last shipment in before the city freezes. And where do they think I’ll store it, I ask you. Am I a mage? My sons will have my hide if they catch me smoking back here, so let’s keep this between us,” he said conspiratorially. “Now, why don’t you show me one of those presents everyone has been whispering about?”
Bingo hesitated before reaching into his coat and producing a fledge. It seemed a small thing, resting on the chipped tabletop. But was probably worth more than most of the goods in the stockroom put together. Jim whistled around his pipe appreciatively, but made no move to take the object. “That’s the genuine article, alright. Why don’t you put it away before someone sees?” Bingo gave him an appraising look as he disappeared the object into a hidden pocket.
“And what makes you so sure, Mr. Proudfoot? I always thought you were a legitimate businessman. Can you spot such elicit goods with a glance?”
“First of all, call me Jim. You’re well past your coming of age. And I know because there has been little talk of anything else around town. You’d know that if you stuck closer to the ground.”
“I’ve been out of town.”
“On assignment for that Bywater witch?” Bingo grimaced.
“I don’t work for Glory. We’re a part of a team.”
“Are you sure about that? Mages are crafty, and women, well they can be worse. Especially for a man of your age. I’d hate to see you get out from one woman’s thumb to only be led around by another.”
“It’s not like that. We work together, is all. She’s useful.”
“My mistake. I assumed you had an interest, but maybe I shouldn’t have. You were awfully close with… what was the lad’s name?” Bingo slammed his mug on the tabletop, harder than he’d meant to, but he kept the steel in his grimace as he stared down the old man.
“That was a long time ago, and I got out.”
“So you say, so you say,” Big Jim made a placating gesture. “But now Madame Rosemary’s found a way to stir it all up again. And with not just one fledge, but two? She’s got you over a barrel, no mistake.”
“Your ear for gossip is better than I’d expect. A re you on The Five?” Bingo asked almost before he could stop himself. Unlike traditional Hillfolk clans, the exact membership of the council of elders was kept strictly secret, for safety.
Big Jim gave him a wicked grin from behind his pipe. “I hear things, is all. But never mind about me. What are you going to get Miss Rosemary in return?”
“That isn’t possible.”
“The adventuring business can’t be as bad as all that, can it?”
“She didn’t commission those expecting an exchange. She means to shackle me with them.”
“Well, surely a clever boy like you can find a way out of a snare as simple as that.”
“There’s nothing I can give her that would come close to clearing that balance. The whole town’s already in an uproar! I may have to bend the knee to her just to save my skin.”
Big Jim chuckled. “And here I thought you the boy that bought himself out of clan debt when nobody else could. A gift isn’t the wrapping it comes in. It isn’t something that you buy, it’s something you feel.”
“What do you mean?”
“If this is a trap, outthink her. You can’t give Rosemary Proudfoot what she expects. So you’ll have to give her something she doesn’t know she wants.”
Bingo took a deep breath. He’d been running since he’d unwrapped the fledges. He’d been trying to protect himself. Jim was right. He needed to slow down and take stock of his situation. But this was a new depth for him. He’d been trained as a thief. Giving wasn’t a part of his nature. As he looked around, all he saw was the trimmings. The tinsel and the stockings and the oranges. The parts of the feast that he’d dreamed about when he was eating gruel and listening to fireworks, the bonfires he’d longed for while he was huddled in bed, pretending to sleep as the chill of winter fell over the city.
And suddenly, all at once, he found the answer. It would be expensive, and it would be dangerous, but he’d managed to sneak out of the Proudfoot home when he was still in training. It was considered a right of passage. Surely breaking in couldn’t be that hard. He grinned.
“Jim, I think I have something, but it’ll be a big order.”
It was nearly sunset whenBingo returned home. He had a stack of packages under his arms and a phalanx of delivery boys and girls trailing in his wake. After making a brief stop to settle accounts with Mr. Gannet, and to give him a little something for his trouble, Bingo marched upstairs and oversaw the stacking of boxes in the sitting room.
Joachim and Glory sat by the hearth. The warrior was darning his chainmail while the mage frowned over a thick tome. They paused to watch the proceedings with interest. When the last crate was delivered, making a pile that nearly reached the rafters, Bingo gave each of his helpers a copper rat and sent them on their way.
“Rent’s sorted,” he said by way of greeting, and tossed each fo them a jingling bag.
“We ate, but there’s some soup and bread left if you’re hungry,” Joachim said, and went back to his work. Glory eyed the pile of goods with an arched eyebrow.
“What is all this?” She asked.
“Oh, just a few odds and ends. For Parade Night, you understand.”
Glory set down her book and examined the stack. “Candied oranges, tinsel, holly, an entire storefront window of toys, and that a ham? What did all this cost you?”
“Most of my share. I’ll be eating light until spring, but it won’t be a problem.”
“Why the sudden change of heart?” Joachim asked.
“I’ve been thinking about my predicament, and I’ve come up with a solution. It’s not just a way to get clear, but maybe do some good for once, too. You remember that I said I never had a proper Parade Night celebration?”
“Yes.”
“Well, the kiddies at the orphanage are going to get the Parade Night of their lives this year!”
“From what you told me of your mentor,” Glory said, digging into a box of sugar biscuits. “She will hardly stand for this act of generosity.”
“Those aren’t for you,” Bingo snatched the tin away from her. “But you’re bang on. I guess I’ll have to sneak in. If only I had a set of top of the line burglary tools, eh?”
“Well, it sound like you’ve got it all figured out,” Glory said.
“There is one thing,” he asked.
“Looking for helpers?”
“I’ll handle the distribution, but I’m going to need away to carry it. You wouldn’t be able to magic me up a bottomless sack to carry all this loot, would you?”
“If you only need it for a day, it shouldn’t be a problem. I’d be happy to help.”
“Butter on bacon! Joachim, I do have a spot for you in this little heist too.”
“Oh?”
“Grab a good spot on the Bridge of Blessings and start celebrating early.”
The big human smirked. “I suppose.”
“Don’t get too pickled. I’ll need you to keep a lookout. Can you and Glory send me a signal when the urchins are on their way back?” The pair nodded.
“Magic. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get this feast in the oven in time for tomorrow’s festivities!” Bingo set to work, looking happier than his companions could ever remember seeing him.

The Freelance Hunters Season One: The Unknown Package Part 2 of 5

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“A trap?” Glory asked, and stripped off her elbow-length gloves, revealing the angular, rune-like tattoos that stretched from her forearms to her fingertips. They were scribed in metallic ink favored by the Riverfolk and she used them to shape her spells. “If that’s a trap, let me eliminate it.” She began gesturing at the brown paper package. Bingo set a hand on her arm.
“Magic might set it off. Best to let me do it the old-fashioned way. But if you could start a fire, I’d be grateful.”
He pulled up a stool and selected a lens from the kit and put it to his eye. “Joachim, would you get the curtains? I could use more light.” He did nothing but look closely at the package for several minutes, never touching it save to slowly and carefully turn it to better examine the opposite side. Finally, he stretched and scratched thoughtfully at his short brown goatee. “Well, there’s no obvious traps, but it’s most likely to go off when I open the damn thing.”
“Perhaps she’s trying to make amends,” Glory offered.
“Are all Spark-fingers as soft as you, Glory?”
“It is the holidays, you cynic.”
Bingo sighed. “The Proudfoot orphanage is a system. Some kids get adopted from it, but most of us, we just a pool of laborers. And as much as they call it a charity, you go through those doors, you owe a debt. Someone buys your debt, you’re their’s to adopt, and very few questions are asked.” Glory gasped.
“Some isn’t none, Glory. Rosemary had her line. Nothing too dirty, no kids ended up in the brothels or begging in the gutters. She never did nothing that would raise the Mage Lords’ hackles. But lots of kids got adopted into manual labor, and they were the lucky ones. I got apprenticed into the clan itself. They taught me to pick pockets, break locks, that sort of thing. It might not seem like a lot, but the clan invested a lot in training me. You can pay off a debt, but Madam Rosemary never got over losing her investment in me. So no, I don’t think it’s a box of cookies.”
“Why not just toss it away,” Joachim asked.
“That is such a Tallfolk thing to ask. It’s a gift. Handed off by Maile Man, so there’s a paper trail. Gifts are a big deal among our people, Joachim.” Bingo selected a fine scalpel from the kit and made a careful, slow slash down the front two corners of the package, then a third along the top. A flap of paper fell outward, revealing a layer of tightly packed straw inside. Bingo repeated the motion on the other sides, then gently lifted up the stamped paper.
He set the scalpel down and took a small brush from the kit. With controlled motions, he brushed the straw away, revealing a plywood crate about a foot square. Returning to the lens, he spent a few more minutes examining it from all angles. Finally, he selected a small screwdriver and undid the screws in each corner of the lid, setting each one carefully aside.
“Well, time to see what all this fuss is about.” He gently lifted the lid and looked inside. An extended silence followed.
“What is it?” Joachim asked. “A trap after all?”
“Worse,” Bingo said. He reached in and pulled out a metal bird slightly larger than his palm. It had a long, needle-pointed beak, and large, hooked feet. A spray of tail feathers sprang from a smooth, oval body made of brass and steel. “She sent me a pair of fledges.” Bingo looked like he was fighting tears.
Glory gasped. Joachim looked from one companion to the other, perplexed.
“I’ve heard of them,” Gory said. “They are a sort of magical all-purpose tool carried by high ranking Thieves’ Guilders. And she sent you two?”
Bingo set the device carefully on the table and backed towards a couch. He collapsed onto it with his head in his hands. “She doesn’t want revenge. She just wants me back under her thumb!”
“There’s a note,” Glory said, and reached into the box. The stationary was delicate but stiff, and the watermark in the corner was a pink rose. Despite the ladylike card, the writing was as clear and no-nonsense as the address. Glory cleared her throat and read the card aloud.
“My Dear Bingoran,
I hope this package finds you in good health. Although it has been some years since we have last spoken, your matron thinks of you often. As do, I am quite certain, your childhood friends from your days here at the orphanage. Please enjoy these Fledges, which I have commissioned on your behalf. I worry about you being all alone in the world since you left. Come visit your old Matron sometime and let her know how you are faring.
Sincerest Regards,
Ms. Rosemary Proudfoot.
“Bingoran? Really?”
“Shut up,” Bingo snapped.
“Sweet of the old lady,” Joachim offered.
“Sweet nothing. It’s a trap after all,” Bingo said, composing himself.
“What am I missing?” The fighter asked.
“It’s like this,” Glory explained. “For Hillfolk, gifts have a high social significance. And this is a princely one. It’s not merely expensive there’s status implications. It has a lot of invisible strings attached.
“So, why doesn’t he just refuse it?”
“Refusing a gift such as this one would be an insult. And you do not insult the Proudfoot Clan if you enjoy breathing.”
“So get her some flowers and write a nice thank-you note.”
“Bingo,” Glory asked. “What would you estimate is the value of that emerald we returned with?”
“After cutting, it should bring in, I don’t know, eight hundred gold krakens. Enough to pay our rent and give each of us enough to live on until spring.”
“And how much would you say one of those fledges is worth?”
“You don’t just run down to the corner and buy one, but probably, oh, ten thousand krakens, easily.”
“So a thank-you note isn’t going to cut it, and if he refuses them, we’re, what? Swarmed by three-foot tall assassins?”
“Precisely.”
“So what do we do?”
“We aren’t doing anything. This is my trouble, and I won’t have you two mixed up in it.”
Joachim shook his head. “We’re a team. We stand by you.” Glory voiced her agreement.
Bingo stood, his expression unreadable. “I’m going to bed. Tomorrow I’ll fence the stone and take care of the rent. After that? I’m not sure yet.”
“Where did you hide that emerald, by the way?” Glory asked. “The guards searched that searched at the gate was thorough in his work.”
“Nowhere comfortable,” Bingo said, and disappeared into his room, taking his presents with him.

The Freelance Hunters, Season One: The Unknown Package, Part One of Five

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A freezing wind beat against the walls of the city of Carabos. It hurled gusts and flurries of hard-packed snow at the gray blocks of stone, plastering them with white patches. It howled like a frantic toddler, searching for the smallest crack in the city’s defenses.
Finding none, the weather settled on bringing misery to the travelers huddled below, tearing away unguarded hats and ripping at thick woolen cloaks. They had come from every corner of the great island of Elanterra, and lines of carts clogged the bare patch of ground in front of the gates. Some were piled high with fruits and vegetables raised out of season by the skilled Hillfolk farmers of the Tungal Hills. Others were loaded with coal mined by the stout Mountainfolk from Pherros. There were human-driven carts holding a grand assortment of goods, and there were others filled with travelers that wore so many cloaks and coats and scarves that nothing could be seen of them. And also in that crowd waited the Freelance Hunters, returned from their latest adventure, neither as rich or crowned in honor as they had hoped, but not without success, either.
They chattered their way through the checkpoint and finally entered the city gates, where the air warmed, and a gentle autumn breeze blew through streets as crowded as the gates.
The trio removed their thick traveling cloaks and carried them over their arms as they pushed their way into the crowd.
The city was a hive of activity. Hawkers shouted over each other, competing to sell their good from the backs of their wagons. Everything from soap to shoes was on offer. The good weather wouldn’t last, and the citizens of Carabos rushed to prepare for the coming blizzards and the party that came before them.
Outside the walls, ice and snow already clogged the roads, but in the Water City, the weather behaved as the Riverfolk Mage Lords wished. Due to their amphibious nature, Riverfolk weren’t a people made for the cold weather. The magicians in the city used their magic to keep winter at bay as long as possible, as every Riverfolk on Elanterra gathered in their ancestral city. From sundown to midnight on the solstice, every Riverfolk in the city, and nearly the whole population in all of Elanterra would parade from the city gates down to the shore of Crystal Lake, and disappear beneath the water for their winter sequestration. Once the last of their population was safely under the surface, the weather mages would end their spell, sealing the lake behind them with ice.
The rest of the city, the Humans, Half-Elves, Hillfolk and Mountainfolk of the city, along with the few others that defied common classification, would gather to see their supposed masters off, and what was once a solemn and holy ritual had slipped over the years into a raucous and well-loved festival.
As they made their way down the hill towards their rooms, the Freelance Hunters watched the city prepare for the celebration. In one alley, a group of Riverfolk youths were preparing the finishing touches on a float covered in flowers. In front of one tavern, a pair of laborers made a pyramid of barrels in preparation for lively outdoor business. Streamers hung from every street lamp, and the air was thick with baking pies and roasting meat. A few spectators were already camped out in the best spots, even though the parade was still several days away.
“Ugh, Parade Night,” Bingo Proudfoot complained, plunging his hands deep into the pockets of his long coat, which is still wore despite the more temperate climate inside the walls. Glory Bywater the group’s mage, stopped short and stared at him with her piercing blue eyes. Joachim Verne, the team’s resident warrior, who was tall even for Humans, nearly trampled them. The two Hillfolk were half his size, and while he was graceful in combat, he often found himself out of sorts with the pair.
“Bingo, how can you distain the New Year?” Glory demanded. “When I was a student at the Academy, we all lived for it! The bonfires, and the food, and the presents, and the floats, and the mulled cider. It is hands down the best night of the year!” The mage’s nostalgic smile seemed decidedly out of place.
“I’m sure you had a real benjo as a student. Your work was done for the year. The rest of us still had to make a living,” he grumbled. Her smile dimmed. There was an unspoken rule that the three of them didn’t talk about their pasts. They each had done things they regretted, or would sooner have others forget. The Proudfoots were a rough and poor clan, mostly made up of outcasts and orphans. She knew Bingo’s upbringing had been rougher than most as a foundling whose small size and quick hands had been put to nefarious use.
“But surely,” she ventured against better sense. “You must have some fondness for the holidays?”
“I’m just not ‘jolly,’ okay?” Bingo doubled his pace, attempting to force his way through the thick crowd, most of whom were at least twice his height.
“Joachim, surely you celebrated Solstice back home?” Glory asked. He frowned and stroked his bushy red beard.
“The snow had already packed us in by this time of year, but the whole village gathered for a feast on First Snowfall, if that’s what you mean.”
“You see? Everybody celebrates. Civilized folk need something to brighten the dark this time of year.”
Bingo sighed. “The dark was where I was raised. You know I was an urchin, yes?” His two companions nodded. “The orphanage wasn’t my salvation. That was where I learned my particular trade. And the headmistress made us work doubly hard on Parade Night. While you were toasting marshmallows and trading presents, I was cutting purses and fawning rigs. And the worst part was, we were always back and in bed before the snow fell. She was always one for curfew, the Headmistress.”
“Well, at least you had solstice dinner, right?”
“An extra portion of gruel, to keep our strength up.”
“A log fire? A wreath?”
“She kept the coal scuttle tightly locked, and never had an extra copper for anything so frivolous as decorations.”
“Presents?”
Bingo turned around and gave her a meaningful look. “I never celebrated Solstice in my whole miserable childhood, and I don’t intend to start now.”
The crowd carried them to their building, a three-story brick structure just off of Dock Street in a ward that insisted it was still respectable. The Freelance Hunters’ combination headquarters and apartment occupied half of the tenement’s top floor. They slipped into the dim foyer and were nearly to the stairs when their landlord, Mr. Gannet, burst from his office with a brown-paper package under his arm.
The Riverfolk man had silver-gray scales, a perpetually sour expression, and a penchant for tall hats that made him look like a dropped ice cream cone.
“Hello, Mr. Gannet,” Bingo said, and doffed his own cap.
“So the heroes have returned. Plundered any good tombs lately?”
“Well, we have to make our bones somehow,” Bingo quipped. Gannet pressed his thin lips together in what was definitely not a smile.
“This arrived for you today,” he said, holding out the box. “By Maile Man.”
“I simply cannot understand why people are so terrified of them. They deliver letters,” Glory said.
“They’re ten foot tall, hook-barbed, monstrosities created by the Mage Lords to protect their secrets,” replied Joachim.
“Well, certainly, but it isn’t as though they’re dangerous, as long as you’re polite and follow instructions.” Glory reached out to take the package, and Gannet lifted it out of her grasp.
“I was instructed quite explicitly to deliver this to Mr. Proudfoot.” Bingo took the package, profoundly surprised. “Eldritch delivery golems aside, Your rent is due,” Mr. Gannet said, recovering his composure. “I expected a deposit before you went on your latest, ahem, excursion.” His large, luminous eyes narrowed behind three sets of eyelids.
“We have it, Mr. Gannet,” Bingo started, then stared at his proffered hand. “But I just need to, er, convert it into more fungible coin for you. You’ll have it tomorrow?”
“I had better. I have much to do before Parading but don’t think I won’t toss you out before the freeze.” With that he retreated back into his office, leaving them in the hallway. They climbed the stairs to the third-floor landing and Joachim unlocked and opened the door. Bingo trailed behind, carrying the package as though it were cursed.
The apartment/headquarters wasn’t opulent, but it was big enough for the three of them. The main room was large and open. A hearth along the east wall provided heat. There was a pair of couches around it that served as both a living room and a space to entertain clients. It was separated from the kitchen and pantry by a low table. Glory’s laboratory took up the next corner, with strange, humming machines and gleaming glass beakers. Next to that was Joachim’s training area, and a round dining table next to the door. A dark hallway lead to the bedrooms and water closet. Riverfolk innovation meant that they had running water, even three stories up.
Bingo set the package carefully on the table. “Home sweet home,” He said. “Let’s hope it’s still standing in five minutes.”
Glory peeked around him to examine the package. “No return address. How mysterious. Who do you suppose sent it?”
Bingo made an odd little noise in his throat as he stared down at the package. “I recognize the handwriting,” he said.
Reaching a hand into the a hidden pocket of his greatcoat, he pulled out a black cloth bundle and unrolled it with a practiced flick of his wrist. The burglar’s tools didn’t make a sound as they landed on the table’s surface. Slowly, thoughtfully he picked through them, removing one tool and examining it before discarding it for another.
Finally, Glory reached the end of her patience. “For Barley’s sake, Bingo, who’s it from? And what are you picking through your gear for?”
Bingo straightened and looked her in the eye. “It took a lot of sweat, luck, and skill to get out from under the Proudfoot clan’s thumb. Most orphans don’t. They run up debts, get apprenticed, and before they can blink they’re in the life up to their eyeballs. I almost got tangled up, but I got myself free. And after five years of silence, Rosemary Proudfoot, my own dear orphan-master sends me a present. Do you want to bet it ain’t a trap?”

Podcast Repost – Nutty Bites #242: Why We Love Short Fiction

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Nutty Bites 242: Why we Love Short Fiction with Hugh J. O'DonnellFriend of the show Hugh recently released a collection of drabbles, prompting Nutty and Tek to dive into, why we love short fiction.

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